Week 8 Predictions

Chargers @ Broncos. Line Den -9. Pick: Chargers.
The Chargers aren't going to win this. But I like them to keep it close. They've only lost two games by a total of four points, and even though Rivers looked human last week (and Manning didn't), San Diego is still the second-best team the Broncos have faced this year. Never mind that the Broncos blew out the third-, fourth-, and fifth-best teams by a combined margin of 114-61. The Chargers are a lot better than those teams. Although... that being said... I'm really tempted to change my pick here.

Seahawks @ Panthers. Line Sea -6. Pick: Seahawks.
That's a generous line. But the Panthers do have a tie. And the Seahawks are still one of the best teams in the NFL. We'll bounce back.

Bears @ Patriots. Line NE -6. Pick: Chicago.

Lions @ Falcons. Line Det -4.5. Pick: Detroit.
I just can't pick a team that's lost four in a row. The Seahawks lost four in a row in '09. When our coach was Jim Mora.

Rams @ Chiefs. Line: KC -7. Pick: Rams.
How can I not?

Texans @ Titans. Line: Hou -3. Pick: Titans.
In other news, the 2008 Titans went 13-3 (that happened! Remember? No? Me neither), on the backs of terrific seasons from--are you ready?--Cortland Finnegan (yes), Albert Haynesworth (yes), and (not) Kerry Collins, who somehow made the Pro Bowl despite finishing with a sub-60 cmp%, an 80.2 PR, less than 2700 yards passing, and only 12 TDs on 415 attempts, giving him a TD% of 2.9%. Here's an idea of how bad that is: Peyton Manning's worst TD% ever, his rookie year, was 4.5%. Russell Wilson's career low is 5.7%. JaMarcus Russell beat 2.9% in 2/3 seasons, and Mark Sanchez beat it in three and tied it in one (out of four). Ryan Leaf even had a season above 2.9%. Akili Smith didn't, but that's because he's Akili Smith. Congratulations, Kerry. You beat Akili Smith. And made the Pro Bowl. This is the problem with individual voting based on team achievement.

Vikings @ Buccaneers. Line: TB -3. Pick: Vikings.
Yes, I know the Vikings are losing a lot as of late. I know Teddy Bridgewater has been incredibly inconsistent, with more down than up. But it's Tampa Bay. If the Vikings can't beat them, they don't deserve to be an NFL franchise. And if there's anyone who can make TB look good again...

Ravens @ Bengals. Line: Bal -1.5 Pick: Ravens.
Maybe you haven't noticed, but the Ravens are kinda suddenly a top five team somehow. And the Bengals suddenly suck... somehow.

Dolfins @ Jagwars. Line: Fins -6. Pick: Jagwars.
For three reasons. First, I wanted to say Jagwars again. Second, that home-field advantage. Third, I still don't believe in the Dolphins. Ever.

Bills @ Jets. Line: Jets -3. Pick: Bills.
Don't make me pick this game. Please don't make me. Wait... what? The JETS are favored? The Jets, who just lost their past, um, six games? Who haven't won since week 1, against the RAIDERS? Versus the Bills, who actually have beaten some good teams, like the Lions and the Bears? Why the hell are the Jets favored by three? That suggests that the line on a neutral field would be even. This game is not even. Bills all day.

Eagles @ Cardinals. Line: AZ -2.5. Pick: Cards.
This actually is an even game. It's an incredibly even game. Both teams have looked great, but the Cardinals have looked great against better competition. I can't judge you based on how you play against Jacksonville and the Giants (the latter partially because I can't judge the Giants). But I can judge you based on how you play against SF, Denver, and SD. Cards take it in a close-ish one.

Raiders @ Browns. Line: Cle -7. Pick: Browns.
Trap game. A little. The Browns have an incredibly "easy" three-game stretch, but nothing is easy in the NFL. Their lost to Jax last week might wake them up though.

Colts @ Steelers. Line: Ind -3.5. Pick: Colts.

Packers @ Saints. Line: Even. Pick: Packers.
Um... what? Am I crazy? One team is 5-2 with losses to an elite team (Seattle) and a good team (Detroit) and wins against some solid teams in convincing fashion (Rodgers GOAT). The other has two wins on the season, coming against the mediocre Vikings and the terrible Bucs in OT. HFA isn't that big.

Redskins @ Cowboys. Line: Dal -10. Pick: Skins.
What was that phrase again? Oh yeah. Trap game. Trap game. Trap game. Trap game. Trap game. TRAP GAME. TRAP GAME. TRAP GAME. Biggest trap game of the season, right here. I'm unofficially picking Washington to win, straight up.