I'm basically live-tweeting this shit.
- Seahawks offense looked weak on the opening drive.
- Love the aggressiveness I saw from the Hawks' D on their one play.
- LOVE THE WILSON CATCH!! We should convert him to WR.
- HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the three consecutive Lynch-run goal-line playcalls. It was as obvious to the Broncos' defense as it was to me. That play works zero out of ten times when you call it three times in a row. Fuck you, Darrell Bevell. I hope Pete Carroll fires you before halftime. You just single-handedly cost the Seahawks four points. There's a significant chance that that makes the difference in this game.
- Oh yeah, and kicking a field goal from the one-yard line is one of the worst decisions you can possibly make if you're an NFL coach. That decision also cost the Seahawks multiple points.
- I'm just gonna preemptively respond to the comments I'm already starting to hear from the announcers: When a cornerback allows a catch, that doesn't mean the cornerback got "beat". It usually means that the receiver ran a good route and the quarterback is the GOAT. Receivers get open incredibly often (probably at least one gets open on a given passing play 85%+ of the time), so it's unreasonable to have this expectation that Sherman will just never allow catches. That only happens against scrubs like Aaron Rodgers.
- Loving what I'm seeing from the Seahawks' run D. Our linebackers especially are swarming like crazy. Plus Brandon Mebane is a beast.
- Why the FUCK would iPhone (or Verizon or whoever) advertise their new deal by comparing getting a new iPhone to killing your dog? I was already never going to get an iPhone, but now I'm even LESS inclined.
- I grew up in Seattle and I've lived there for something like 20 years. I've never, ever seen fish-throwing in person. No one I know, or have ever met, has ever seen fish-throwing. That's like saying "you can't go to Canada without tapping a tree with a moose-antler that you harvested from the moose that you killed with an icicle" or "you can't go to Mexico without starting a cartel and murdering hundreds of civilians." (Okay, that one actually happened.) It's not something that normal people ever experience. It's a stereotype. The kind that isn't true.
- Wilson isn't great because he has "heart." You can't measure "heart" because it's not a thing. He's great because he's great. It's that simple.
- Darrell Bevell, stop running the fucking ball. Moron.
- God, I hate Bono. But God, I love Robert Downey Jr.
- Aww, I want to make out with a model in a rainy alley. I should obviously get a Lexus. Wait, I have a Lexus. Oh my god.
- Holy SHIT I love what I'm seeing from the Seahawks' run D. This is fantastic. The pass D is getting beat up a bit, but again, they're playing the GOAT. Against lesser QBs (aka every other QB ever), the pass D will look as good as ever, and hopefully the run D will be this stifling.
- Notice how it's Reggie Wayne who got denied, and not Andrew Luck. Because Andrew Luck is undeniable. Undeniably average, maybe.
- Has Wilson even attempted a throw this game? No, seriously. Has he?
- Answer: He's attempted three. His runs plus sacks equals his pass attempts. That is BAD.
- Update: His runs plus sacks is now greater than his pass attempts. That's badder.
- Punting is never a victory, announcers. Never.
- That Fit commercial is the lowest-budget commercial I have ever seen.
- TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!! You see what happens when you throw the fucking ball, Bevell??
- Incidentally, THAT is a cornerback getting beat. Lockette straight-up beat Talib to the ball there. they were both in position, and Lockette was just better.
- Wilson's passer rating currently sits at 158.3!!! Just kidding. It's actually 170.3. SEE HOW MUCH BETTER THAT IS???
- God, I love JJ Watt.
- That's a catch and a fumble. He turns upfield. Or downfield. Whatever. That's a football move.
- I refuse to believe that the rulebook includes the phrase "bang-bang".
- That's a fucking bullshit call. The refs are completely wrong here. The receiver has control, two feet down, possession, and makes a football move (turning downfield).
- If I was in the NFL, that's exactly what every play would look like. I'd try to throw a checkdown but it would get there too slow because I'm not an NFL quarterback.
- That was an incredibly convincing fake.
- Aaron Rodgers on steroids confirmed.
- Wilson's rating is now 151.6, not 151.4. I realize that's not as significant an improvement from uncapping his rating. But still.
- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
- Hey, hey Darrell? Darrell Bevell? When you're driving with less than a minute to go in the half and you only have one timeout left, DON'T FUCKING RUN IT.
- TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!! Again. This is why you throw it.
- It's Halftime.
- Okay, here's a better example. Wilson's capped rating right now is 152.7. His uncapped rating is fucking 170.4.
- Nice play from Burley! That's an example of a perfect coverage play.
- So glad to see Okung back!
- Wow Denver looks mad. Lol.
- Dominant pass D from Seattle. That's what I'm talking about.
- JAMES CARPENTER is a special player?? Him?
- As if you needed another reason to hate field goals. That sucked.
- More flawless D from Byron Maxwell! Loving this.
- Peyton rolls out like Wilson! I feel like I just got a glimpse into the future.
- Nice job by Wilson to hang onto the ball. If the Broncos get the ball back there, that's a game-changer.
- SPEAKING OF GAME-CHANGERS, WHAT THE FUCK, DARRELL BEVELL???? YOU CALL A RUN RIGHT UP THE MIDDLE OUT OF THE ENDZONE??? ON THIRD AND 17, OUT OF THE ENDZONE??????? THAT'S LITERALLY THE WORST PLAYCALL I'VE EVER SEEN.
- Let's list the reasons why that was the worst playcall I've ever seen. 1) You're running up the middle, a play that hasn't worked at all today. That's just a bad decision. 2) You're running on third down, and it's not a third and short. 3) It's a third and long. 4) In fact, it's a third and VERY long. 5) What's more, it's a third and very long in your endzone. 6) It's third and long in your endzone. 7) It's third and long in your endzone. 8) It's THIRD and LONG in your ENDZONE. 9) IT'S THIRD AND LONG IN YOUR ENDZONE. 10) WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RUN IT THERE???
- That was a fluky play.
- That was almost the greatest turnaround I've ever seen.
- That sucked. I'm not surprised that the Broncos (who still have the best offense in the league) were able to convert on that turnover. Shit happens.
- NOT a great choice by Harvin to return that.
- That Wilson-Walters connection.
- Did the ref just help Nate Irving up? CORRUPTION! BIAS AND CORRUPTION!
- I think Manning just tried to hand the ball off to Lennay Kekua.
- Ha! Puny Manning. Your meager audibling skills are nothing next to Kevin Williams.
- BOOOOM BABY!!!! KAM CHANCELLOR THE FIRST-DOWN CANCELLER!!!
- You're damn right they played Seattle Defense. "Fuck 'em up."
- Hey announcer, don't you EVER talk about Kam Chancellor!
- I need Wilson to throw a touchdown on his next pass. Preferably a long one. His passer rating is way too low. (It's only 103.7. Both capped and uncapped.) BUT if he throws a 60-yd TD on his next play (I don't know where the Seahawks are on the field, but whatever) he'll be at a much more reasonable 123.2. LEGGO.
- LET WILSON THROW! LET WILSON THROW! LET WILSON THROW! LET WILSON THROW!
- Why the FUCK is this announcer talking about what DENVER proved today? What the fuck? "Yeah, let's talk about the team that's about to lose to a stifling performance from Seattle, the best team in the league. It's way less important that we address the home, winning, better team."
- "If you're the Denver defense... you play run all the way." EVEN THE ANNOUNCER HAS FIGURED OUT YOUR STRATEGY, BEVELL. AND HIS IQ IS IN THE SINGLE-DIGIT RANGE.
- OH MY GOD LOOK HOW WELL THAT WORKED!!! I'M SO GLAD WE FUCKING RAN IT FIVE TIMES IN A ROW INSTEAD OF PASSING IT ONCE AND GETTING A TOUCHDOWN.
- SIKE
- "I sure do hate it when my team gets easy touchdowns. Or touchdowns." - Darrell 'Fuck Russell Wilson' Bevell. It's like he's the one guy who still believes Wilson is too short to be a successful quarterback.
- Oh look! It's a one possession game! Still!
- Get better soon, Burley. You were kinda good out there today. Couple great plays.
- Fuck. Fuck you, Emmanuel Sanders. Fuck.
- This game is too close. I like 43-8 better. Hell, THAT game was too close.
- FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
- Yeah, THAT'S the play we get zero pressure. Fuck.
- That's a catch, if you're wondering. And no, that's NOT an example of Sherman getting 'beat'.
- The numbers on the Broncos' uniforms are too fucking round.
- "We want the ball and we're going to shit all over you motherfuckers."
- SO PUMPED. GOAL TO GO. LET'S GO SEAHAWKS!!!!
- TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- THAT'S THE GAME, BABY!! BEAST MODE!! Y'ALL JUST GOT LYNCHED!! Oh god I just realized why no one ever says that.
- "What a game." That's the first sensible thing the announcers have said all day. That was a game.
- Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. Those are the motherfuckers. But hey, we won!! GO HAWKS!!!!
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